Thursday, July 7, 2011

Rebuttal to Chris Sullentrop's Grantland article

First, read.

Mr. Suellentrop,

First off, what an incredibly well written article. It is obvious that you attended the greatest journalism school on the planet, the University of Missouri.

But what also shines through in this article is the stereotypical douche resin that lingers around in this city after folks like you have left. Doesn't shock me that you're one of those lifelong Kansas fans who committed sports loyalty suicide when you opted to go to a good school like Mizzou, instead of accepting a second-rate, but still acceptable, journalism degree from your beloved Jayhawks. So it doesn't shock me in the least that you threw your hometown under the 20 million pound bus, with Bill Simmons at the wheel.

I'm sure you worship the ground that Bill Simmons walks on. The East Coast bias has probably infiltrated your mind by now. Either that or you've always viewed Kansas City as a second rate, insecure city and have dreamed about the big city while "wasting away" in the Midwest, where great journalists have been born.

Instead of following in the footsteps of Posnanski, Whitlock, Paige and Miklasz, you probably thought the easiest road to notoriety and written-word fame was to hit the bright lights of Broadway and wash away the shame of your "cow town" upbringing, while alienating your home city in the process. So I'm sure Bill Simmons and the good folks at Grantland contacted you because what self-righteous, East Coast trendster doesn't open up the New York Times every morning while drinking their half-caf, triple shot Starbuck's and smelling their own farts? I'm sure it was an easy decision for you.

So you wrote an article pretty much saying that Kansas City was a lonely, desolate place where children play under power lines, multi-million dollar arenas sit empty, women don't shave their legs and the winters last for seven months. Your reasoning in the article is laughable. Sprint Center is one of the country's busiest venues, but since there isn't an NBA team in town, it's a failure of an arena. You could have stopped there, but you didn't. Shot after shot came and by the end of the article, my blood was boiling.

You said you left KC for a bigger stage and a bigger paycheck. Well, you got that. But you have done it at a cost, sir. So have fun living in New York City, paying $1500 a month for 120 square feet and $7 for beer at a bar, living the good life and trying to rub elbows with smart people with smart jobs and smart clothes. I'll be here in Kansas City, loving where I was born and raised, drinking in giant parking lots and eating the best smoked meats in the world. You may have left KC, but I'm not entirely sure you ever truly lived here.

Nice suit.


  1. I didn't like the perceived "cheap shots" but I can't say I thought there were many untruths in that piece. I didn't quite understand the loneliness angle, but thought everything else was dead-on. I still live here at "home" and still love it despite its perceived limitations.

  2. I have never read this blog before....and I think I just became a regular reader. THAT is how one serves up a shit sandwich to a gigantic bag of douche, hold the bread. - BG

  3. Well done. It's only to be hoped that he hasn't picked up on one of the other qualities (I use the term loosely) that most of the other of that "big-time" ilk have in common -- and that's the ability to become blinded by their own aura and, subsequently, miss any correspondences that could call into question their reasoning and logic, much less their opinion.

    Many things in our lives are about timing and opportunity as much as talent, but your rebuttal is something that, if read, can remind Suellentrop that being a good writer doesn't automatically mean you have good viewpoints.

  4. That was almost exactly the feeling I had when I read that. As much as I like seeing my hometown featured on a national outlet, he definitely seems to have had the Simmons Kool-Aid.