**This rumor was shot down literally right after I posted this. Apparently, the Royals are "not interested" in Jeff Francoeur. But I hope you enjoy it anyways.
It began in 2005. Jeff Francoeur blasted into the National League and had scouts drooling. OPS over 1.000, batting average north of .330 and a Bondsian .631 slugging percentage.
Then he came down to earth...hard. He's been an awful, malcontent, overrated fielder, bust of a player. He's changed teams. That didn't work.
Apparently, Dayton Moore looks at Frenchy like that girl who has been cheated on, lied to and emotionally destroyed by her loser boyfriend yet still keeps going back to him, despite her friends and family pleading for her to move on.
"Just because he doesn't walk doesn't mean he doesn't love me!"
"Yeah he's posted a negative UZR the past three seasons, but he won a Gold Glove!"
"I know he said he doesn't care about walks, but he hit 29 home runs four years ago!"
Francoeur serves no purpose on the Royals. I would rather have a super robot constructed with all of the worst parts of Jose Guillen, Emil Brown, Terrence Long, Reggie Sanders and Shane Costa than have Jeff Francoeur.
This rumor surfaces every season. Whether in the offseason, May or near the trade deadline, it never goes away. It points to a bigger problem. The problem being that Dayton Moore is so in love with awful baseball players, it is going to kill the momentum that the Royals have going in their minor leagues.
So Moustakas, Hosmer and Montgomery come up and are really good. Guess what? Frenchy is "protecting" Mous and Hosmer in the lineup! OH JOY! Hey, lets sign a 37 year old Melky Cabrera! Let's go get Derek Lowe, cuz the Braves liked him, right? Man, think of all the possibilities! Hey, how about that Matt Diaz guy? Oh, we had him at one point? Screw him! Wait, call the Orioles, do you think John Lamb and Hos would be enough for former Brave great, Mike Gonzalez? Hey, get Pods agent on the phone, it's time for him to make his triumphant return to KC to be a member of the 2014 Royals! We need a leadoff hitter dad-gummit! That Robinson kid can't run. I need un-utilized speed and sweet 5 o'clock shadow beards. Get Ryan Freel out of retirement, I NEED ATHLETICISM ON THIS TEAM!
Get ready. #GMDMisdelusional