Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Comparing the Royals to the 2012 Presidential candidates

I am probably going to ruffle a few feathers on this one and it's very possible that I'm going to receive death threats or something crazy like that. But screw that, I'm here to exercise my first amendment rights as a tax-paying citizen of the US of A. So go grab your double Whopper, chicken fries and large Dr. Pepper, America, let's get weird!

Rick Perry is Jeff Francouer - I'll be honest, Rick Perry seems like a dude. A guy you would want to have a beer with and a guy who seemingly does some things very well. But he fumbles on occasion, missing some details in a debate or buying a ranch in Texas that was once named "N--gerhead". You know, little stuff.

Much like Rick Perry, Frenchy brings a big stick to the table and can hit a few out of the park. He's a likeable guy, but much like Perry, he has his shortcomings. Like when Perry forgot the third department he would eliminate from the Federal Government, Frenchy sometimes forgets where the strikezone is on the third strike.

Michele Bachmann is Brayan Pena - Loved by a niche group, but for all the wrong reasons. Brayan and Michele are energetic and both have the propensity for crazy eyes. But what most people can see past the bubbly personalities and general likeability on the surface, they see deep down that both of them are vastly underqualified and more than likely absolutely crazy.

Rick Santorum is Yuniesky Betancourt - Overvalued by the media, while most people with half of a brain can tell you that both are god awful. Santorum was viewed as a viable candidate for awhile until he opened his mouth at the debates. And most people saw Yuni as a viable five-tool player in the majors, until they saw him play.

John Huntsman is Nathan Adcock - Huntsman has made sense during most of the debates, he's well versed in foreign policy with China and has been probably the least heralded of the candidates. He's also a Mormon, which can rub people the wrong way, if you're into that religion/politics kind of conversation. Huntsman is likely positioning himself for a cabinet position if a Republican is indeed elected.

Meanwhile, Adcock may turn out to be an undervalued member of the Royals either as a #4 or #5 starter, a solid long reliever or depth in Omaha. He's a Rule V pick, a rarity in Major League Baseball. Much like Huntsman's Mormonism, Adcock's Rule V status makes him a rare, but possibly valuable commodity for the Royals.

Ron Paul is Billy Butler - Love them or hate them, both are polarizing figures. Both have passionate followers. While Paul has rallied the most support in the Iowa Caucus, the media seems to be ignoring him for his popularity amongst the youth of the country. Paul has been ideologically consistent throughout his political career and never changes who he is, no matter the stage.

Butler on the other hand, seems to be undervalued by some Royals fans as a guy who hits into double plays and "warning track outs". All the while, Butler has been the most consistent offensive performer on the Royals for the past three seasons. Butler's passionate following has turned him into a cult hero, with his "#CountryBreakfast" nickname. There's also a contingent of fans saying Butler's value will never be higher and he should be traded to maximize the return. But if Butler isn't traded, he's under a club-friendly contract and won't cost the Royals much for what he'll give back in return. Much like if Paul doesn't get the Republican nod, he'll return to his congressional seat and run as an independent, making some noise in the general election.

Mitt Romney is Alex Gordon - He's been the poster boy for the Republican Party and the favorite for the GOP nomination in the Summer. Romney is the superstar for the Republican establishment and enamored himself with most of the country. He's been the favorite all along and it's tough to see that changing.

Much like Romney, Gordon has enamored himself with his good looks and finally reaching his potential last season. But some question his ability to sustain his success in the long-term. Gordon and Romney both sprang to the forefront in the past year and both seem to be the most popular amongst the Republican Party and Royals fan base.

Newt Gingrich is Blake Wood - Both have the amazing ability to throw gasoline on easily manageable situations.

Barack Obama is Luke Hochevar - The darlings of 2008, both showed signs of promise early on. But somewhere along the way, they crumbled. Much like Barack Obama fights congress to reduce the budget or pass Obamacare, Luke Hochevar fights control and consistency in the middle innings. But every once in awhile, they'll throw an 80-pitch, three-hitter or kill Osama bin laden.